Trust is all about one thing – consistency. Journaling for trust is no different. Sometimes it means you need a journaling habit that sticks. Other times it means you need to keep at your shadow work (even when you really don’t want to).

But, hold up. There are exceptions. In fact, you may have noticed that I wasn’t as present on Write Your Wellness over the past two weeks. Why? I had a scary trip to the ER, a interstate conference, and LIFE. It’s a tricky balance to talk about but, sometimes life gets in the way of consistency. That’s okay. I didn’t stop trusting my ability to write this blog. 

My general rule is simple. Figure out your goals and values and choose your actions accordingly. When you do this, trust follows naturally. Your body, mind, and soul need to see you working towards what you say matters.

To be clear, this post is on self-trust. I believe this is a necessary first step in building trust in others. If you want to learn more about trusting others, let me know in the comments and keep an eye out for the trust Journal Jar Filler Kit.

Label Your Values

One of the major problems people have with self-trust is a lack of direction. There are always a million beautiful directions one could go. Choosing which path to take brings in a lot of doubt.

The good news is, you don’t have to always choose the outcome you want right away. You just need to choose your values. For instance, if you really value honesty—chase honesty.

That’s a little different that chasing a career or relationship. Those things will never be fully in your control. AKA there is huge potential for disappointment. Disappointment is a trust killer for SURE. But values like honesty? You are always able to control whether or not you follow that goal.  

That is going to genuinely feed your sense of trust.

Exercise Part 1

Start this journal entry with a list of 5 values. These are ways you want to show up in your life. Can’t think of any? Here is a list from Russ Harris at Purdue. This doesn’t have to be too complicated.

** Hint: you won’t show up the same way 100% of the time. Just focused on the way you want to be most of the time**

Envision the Path

Usually, I talk about intentionally doing less. Trust comes from consistency – yes. Consistency needs reasonable expectations – true. HOWEVER, there has to be space for dreaming. Because fulfillment and joy are also a huge part of living a trusting life.

After you choose your values, you need to imagine all of the ways you would want them to play out in your life. Have fun with it. You have to trust that you can do big things!

Exercise Part 2

Spare no expense at this part. List literally everything you’ve ever dreamed of that would bring you closer to your list of values. We’ll reduce the list – don’t worry. Example: if you listed “independence” as one of your core values, you could list “starting a business”, “create a financial safety net”, “set up a hard boundary”, etc.

Create a To-Don’t List

In hustle culture, the focus is always on what MORE you can do. But, honestly, there is so much virtue in doing less. That is why I think everyone should have a to-don’t list. What is that? Simple. Every time you write a to-do list, go through and see what things you DON’T need to do.

I’ve sorta touched on this before. I fully believe that you should never track more than 3 habits at a time. While I don’t have such a hard and fast rule for daily to-do lists, I think they should be limited too. If your self-expectations are set to high, you’ll collapse eventually. That isn’t sustainable. And if your routine is sustainable, you’ll eventually lose trust in yourself.

To-don’t lists avoid this. They help you be realistic. This builds trust in two ways.

1.      You’ll prove to yourself that you’ll be fair with your schedule

2.      You’ll prove to yourself that you can complete what you set out to truly

Exercise Part 3

Now that you have listed all the things you could do to meet your values, its time to slash it. Go through with a colored pen and eliminate everything that doesn’t need to happen or, better yet, doesn’t need to happen right now.  You can also eliminate items that only meet a few of your values but not all of them.

Again, there is no hard an fast rule for how much should be leftover. But the list shouldn’t terrify you. It shouldn’t feel daunting or impossible. In fact, you should feel like it isn’t enough. Better to build than destroy a list.

Follow Through

The header says it all. You can’t just dream—you actually have to do it.

I’ve been told that I can come off strong about this part. I only do so because it’s been so helpful in my life. For a long time, I didn’t believe I was brave, strong, or believable. That was 100% because I was people pleasing. I was literally betraying myself all the time.

I am not alone. We all betray ourselves every once and awhile. And you can’t trust who betrays you. That’s why it is so key to break out of the people pleasing cycle and start living for yourself.

If you don’t live yourself, you won’t trust yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, you can’t fully trust others. I believe this so hard.

What will you do for yourself this week? 

(Hint: need more guidance? Check out my Journal Jar Filler Kit for Trust!)