When it comes to therapy, I’ve tried it all: CBT, ACT, DBT, EMDR, you name it. There is plenty of stuff out there about these types of therapy. But I rarely hear about one of my favorite approaches, aspecting. Even more rare? Hearing about aspect journaling. I simply must change that.
Aspecting is known by so many names. Some call it Gestalt Therapy or the Empty Chair. Others call it Parts Work. Essentially, many people have been working on this technique from many different angles. Personally, I like the term Aspecting because it reminds me of astrology.
In astrology, aspects are the ways your planets relate with each other. Aspecting, and aspect journaling, is no different.
What the Heck is Aspecting?
Aspecting is essentially useful compartmentalizing. You separate the different parts of yourselves, give them names, and communicate with them directly. That’s where the term ‘The Empty Chair’ comes from. You sit on one chair and your alter ego sits on another.
Like I said, this is very similar to astrology aspects. Your Saturn sign and Moon sign might be very different, but they build a whole person. The way you show up at work is way different than the way you show up around young children. Still, you are you the whole time! This method allows us to be multitudes and a singular person at the same time.
This is distinctly different from dissociative identity disorder. Rather than fully embodying another personality, you are simply acknowledging that there are different aspects of your personality.
In my personal aspecting session, my therapist also encouraged me to “speak” to passed family members. It helped me gain closure and context for my family system. That, in turn, taught me a lot about how I process my own life.
But honestly, you’re probably already a little familiar with aspecting to some degree. The Empty Chair can be filled by your Inner Child, your Wise Adult, your Super Alter Ego. Whoever. It’s totally enough to say ‘today I am talking to my Inner Child’. Others like to name these parts. Me? I have names for some, not all. Whatever works, works.
How Can I Apply This to Journaling?
A lot of people shy away from aspecting because it feels a little silly to talk to yourself on purpose. If that’s not an issue, you may be nervous to get that deep out loud. That’s when journaling comes to the rescue.
Aspect journaling allows us to have these conversations in a controlled and private way. Instead of The Empty Chair, you have an empty journal page. Have you ever started your journal with “dear diary”? Same stuff.
In practice, there are many ways this could look:
· Free write as another aspect of yourself (ie: your Evil Twin)
· Write a letter to your aspect (ie: Dear Future Self)
· Write a letter from your aspect to you (ie: Love, The You in Control)
· Write out a conversation between aspects that aren’t gelling together (ie: your Inner Rage Monster and your Inner Child)
Honestly, the possibilities are endless. Just give whatever exercise you are doing a specific spin.
What Parts Should I Consider?
You are made of endless parts. There is no right way to choose what aspects you want to focus on. However, if you need a little guidance, I recommend you ask yourself a few questions:
1. What part of me feels most unhealed?
2. What part of me brings the most confidence?
3. What part of me is least explored?
Start with those three parts. Let them speak to you and each other. You may find that they lead the conversation!
How Will This Help Me?
I keep running back to the astrology analogy. In astrology, it is helpful to know your aspects because it prepares you for your own blind spots. Aspect journaling does the same thing.
Time for an example. Let’s say your Inner Teen and Inner Peacemaker are wrestling over how to handle a social situation. Inner Teen wants to smash and destroy. The Peacemaker…does not. If you aren’t aware of this inner conflict, you might just feel confused. That same confusion will trigger your fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response – no good.
But imagine you took the identify the parts of yourself that are fighting. Then take it a step further and mediate a conversation between them. Maybe you’ll find a common need or maybe you’ll find an opportunity to define who/how you want to be overall. Suddenly that jerk reaction and confusion becomes a productive solution.
By putting all this in your journal, you can gain more control over the subtle interaction of your selves.
**Disclaimer**
Okay, time for a disclaimer. This is one journaling exercise that I think pairs *extra* nicely with a consistent therapy appointment.
Aspect Journaling shakes us up. It is designed to give a voice to the parts of ourselves we normally keep silent. AKA, this is shadow work baby. It is uncomfortable. It is redefining. It is not something you should handle alone. That is something that is best done with the guidance of a licensed professional (which I am not).
