There is no point in fighting it—change happens. When it does, we can either accept change or ignore it completely. Guess which one is more fulfilling?

Make no mistake. Everyone who journals is journaling about change. Whether you talk about childhood trauma or a promotion at work, you are examining how those events affected you. Read: you are examining how those events changed you. The trick is journaling the right way at the right time.

Want to learn how to accept change with your journal? Here are 4 easy tips to get your journaling practice on the right track.

#1: Remember to Say “Thanks”

Raise your hand if you have been personally victimized by the saying “every cloud has a silver lining”. It is the last thing you wants to hear when you are hurting. Talk about condescending! But, I promise, they have a point.

Gratitude journaling works. It literally alters your brain chemistry! Just listing 2-3 positive things in your journal can change the way you process information. This is life changing on its own. Pair it with an even bigger change and gratitude journaling is truly transformational.

The only drawback to gratitude journaling? It’s hard to motivate yourself to do it when you are sad or grieving. The best way to get around this is to start the habit when life feels positive or even neutral. If you build a habit around it before your big life change, gratitude will feel second nature.  

#2: Be Brutally Honest (For a Limited Time Only)

Now, before you call me out for toxic positivity, listen to this next tip. You need to vent. I don’t care if every single one of your dreams are coming true all at once. If you are going through change, you need to complain.

Here’s what I mean. Even the best changes come with conditions. Graduate college? Time to face the “real world” and the job market. Win an award? Here comes the imposter syndrome. We are conditioned to fear change. It only makes sense that we would need a quiet moment to grieve. Of course, this is especially true if the change is unwelcome like loss.

There is no need to go overboard. Set a timer for 20 ish minutes and limit your worrying to that timeframe. This is your space to be honest. Society might not appreciate you complaining about losing your freedom when you have a newborn baby, but your journal absolutely will. Say everything you need to get off your chest. This is the only way to accept change deeply. If you still need to vent after your 20 minutes are up, schedule another 20 minutes for tomorrow and so on.

#3: Envision the Future

After a life change, it helps to have a sense of direction. That’s why it is always helpful to re-evaluate your goals whenever something big happens.

Just like before, set your timer to 20 minutes. Then start to dream. What would things look like if everything went your way from this point on? For welcome changes like a salary raise or a newborn baby, this will come easily. You’re already soaring high! The trick comes when everything feels awful.

Envisioning the future when times are tough sometimes feels like a lost cause. The brain is going to want you to think doom and gloom. When that comes up, save it for your venting sessions. For this exercise, try to focus on what could go right. Will you recommit to important values? Will you prioritize family and friends differently? Will you finally embrace the rest you desperately need? Anything you can think of is worthy.

#4 Same, Same but Different

When you need to accept change, you also need to accept what isn’t changing. No matter what happens, you won’t change everything about your life overnight. This is a very good thing.

Familiarity is an anchor. When life starts to look a lot different, we need to get in touch with what hasn’t changed. This can be as simple as making time for your usual hobbies. It can also be as deep as remembering your internal values.

In your journal, make a Venn Diagram. In the left circle, write all of the things you are leaving behind. In the right circle, note all of the new things you’ll have to accept. But in the middle? This is your anchor. Journal about the things that will stay the same.

A Final Note

What good is a journal if you stay the same? Healing is change. Growth is change. So while it can be very scary and confusing, you need change. And if you’ve made it this far into the post? You WANT change too.

So don’t try and stop it.